It is important to always consider the cost-benefit of what is being fought over, and include the cost of attorney fees in that calculation. Even though the replacement value for personal property might seem high, the court is going to consider the garage sale or used value of your property, not replacement value, in considering what you are owed in the final distribution and settlement of your divorce. You could very well pay $3,000 in attorney fees just to fight over $1,000 worth of property.
Aside from the financial investment, the stress and emotional investment of a prolonged divorce action must be considered. It is very difficult to maintain a job and one’s sanity while dealing with a divorce, especially when going to court is necessary. It is important to consider the stress associated with fighting and litigation as opposed to letting go of some things. The process won’t be stressful for the attorneys, and may not even be as stressful for the other side, so a person must evaluate for themselves whether agreeing to less to get things down now is worth it.
If the stress of the divorce is going to affect your job performance and therefore cause you to lose out on a job promotion—or worse, be laid off—then that is an unforeseen cost of a divorce. A price cannot be placed on happiness. Thinking about moving on is a very smart move to make, and moving forward sooner rather than later will save so much mental anguish.
Should I Avoid Dating Until My Divorce Is Fully Over?
The issue of dating is always something to bring up with an attorney, although different attorneys will give different responses. It’s not uncommon for people who are in a divorce to already be living with other people. That being said, it’s recommended that if a person is dating, they do not introduce any new love interest to their children until after their divorce or separation is settled. Dating is not unusual and not frowned upon in general, but it is best to keep it away from the children in order to not unnecessarily inflame the other side or confuse the children.
In addition, introducing someone to the children can be looked upon negatively by some judges. This is especially true if the person has any negative history with their own children or children in general. If a parent is going to bring someone into their lives while in the middle of a divorce or child custody proceeding, they better know that person’s background and ensure they have no convictions, child protective findings, or negative child custody proceedings. You will also need to know they have no negative history period regarding children (i.e., are you sure there is no ex who is ready to testify how awful they were to their child when they dated?) A parent should investigate anyone who they plan on spending a good amount of time with, even if they haven’t yet introduced them to the children. It is almost a guarantee that the other side will do an investigation and bring to light any negative findings.
That said, as long as the person is appropriate and deemed safe for the children, it won’t necessarily be a problem. However, if the divorce or separation just started, then a parent should not bring anyone new around. If the parents separated a year or more prior and are moving forward with the divorce proceeding, then it is expected for new partners to be involved. Again, it is always best to consult with an attorney about whether or not it is appropriate to bring a new person into a child’s life.
Why Is It Better Emotionally And Financially To Avoid Dragging Our Divorce Into Litigation?
Most cases can be settled without going to court, and most of them should be settled in this way. People save so much money, time, and anguish by resolving cases out of court. Going to court is not stressful for an attorney, but it’s extremely stressful for the parties because it’s not something to which they’re accustomed. If a party has a really negative relationship with their spouse (which is usually the case if they are in court), then there will be a lot of animosities there, and the judge will have to make all the major decisions about how to end their marriage and how they will parent their children; there isn’t anything more stressful for a person to endure than this.
Settling outside of court is the best thing a person can do for themselves. As long as both sides are somewhat reasonable, most cases can be settled. However, there are rules that apply to assets and exceptions to those rules that can cause a legitimate argument, even if both sides are wanting to be reasonable. If this is the case, it may be best to get the opinion of a judge as to how the issue should be resolved. There might be a separate property issue involving a lot of facts and circumstances which may require going to court. Or, it might be that both parents legitimately want different schedules for the children, and they’re not disagreeing out of animosity for the other person. However, most cases involving two reasonable parties and two reasonable attorneys can be resolved through negotiations.
Parties can consider mediation and have an attorney review their medicated agreement afterward to make sure that it is legally sufficient and enforceable. Mediation can be a good thing as long as the mediator is competent and unbiased. There are mediators who tend to be quite biased towards one sex or the other, or towards certain issues based on their own background. For this reason, people should be careful in selecting a mediator and be sure to ask for a referral. Mediators should have knowledge of the parameters of the laws and rules, and an idea of how the rules and laws should be applied in order to obtain a fair agreement. Be sure to review a mediator’s credentials to ensure their competency; they should have significant training, education, and experience in divorce law.
I negotiate a good portion of my cases out of court, and often draft settlement agreements without mediation. Financial information can be shared, reviewed, and discussed; negotiations can be had, and a settlement agreement can be drafted so that both parties can move forward without ever having to go to court.
For more information on Fighting Over Assets In A New York Divorce, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (585) 449-4987 today.
Contact Our Offices
Whether you have questions or you’re ready to get started, our legal team is ready to help. Complete our form below or call us at (585) 449-4987.